Indy Grand Prix of Alabama

YEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW! I reckon we rustle up some horsepower and head on down to AaaaalaBAMa. BAMa. BAM. I just like saying it.

It’s truly unfortunate that no one in Birmingham will be able to see this week’s picks – they still don’t have the internet there, right? What… really? Well then! A giant race gIRL welcome to all five of the IndyCar fans in Alabama. Yippe-ki-yi-yeh mother… sorry. Welcome. I’m doin’ a little boot-scootin’ boogie in your honor. Tell your neighbors to turn off the Nascar race and come sit at the cool kids’ table.

Fine. I know there were a lot of people who came out to watch the testing at Barber. But are they really IndyCar fans, or just regular people who don’t normally see cars that don’t have rust on them? It’s been nice knowing all of you. I’m going to get my ass kicked as soon as I cross the Alabama border. Maybe I’ll walk in with Randy Bernard – that would give me some street cred, huh? Or hide under his ten-gallon hat. Won’t offer much protection but have you ever seen a redneck riot? Me neither, but I can imagine it’s not pretty.

There are three things I know about Barber Motorsports park: 1) It has a giant spider, which creeps me out beyond belief; 2) It has a great museum, which I intend to stroll through; and 3) The IZOD IndyCar Series has never run there before, which means little suprises around every corner, but nothing dangerous (yes, that in fact was a Willy Wonka quote, for those of you keeping score at home). Although I’m guessing we won’t need a gravel-grinder this time. But you never know.

Can we talk about Will Power for a second? UNBELIEVABLE. Moving on.

So rumor has it that Dryer & Reinbold is trying to decide between Scheckter and Ana Beatriz for their third car at Indy this year. I can see why that’s such a tough choice. Sometimes it’s hard to decide whether you want to win or not. Holy balls. Absolutlely no disrespect to Bia – I think she’s got potential – but that’s like choosing between James Cameron and your mom to direct your next film. I mean, let’s go with the professional here, people. But word to your mother. I’m sure she makes a great casserole.

You came for my picks. Let’s get on with it already. Every week I write out my list and then narrow it down. Here’s what I have right now: Power, Castroneves, Briscoe, Dixon. Why? Because they finished 1, 2, 3, 4 in testing. Someone give the freakin’ Penske/Ganassi boys a challenge, for the LOVE OF GOD.

First pick… I want to pick Will Power, but I won’t. Feels like cheating. I’ll take Dixon. It’s more about the fact that I think he’s due for a podium finish than his third-place finish in testing. And I’m making this pick with very little confidence, which I hate.

Second pick is between Castroneves and Briscoe. So I’m going with Justin Wilson. Again. What is it about that guy? It’s like I have a “good feeling” about him every time we’re not on an oval. You could call it woman’s intuition. (You’d be wrong… but you could call it that). It’s really just a serious amount of raw, road-course talent that piques my interest. Or whatever.

I’m going with a dark horse for my third pick… Takuma Sato. I’ve heard a variety of comments referring to the fact that Barber feels like a non-American course. Since Sato came from F1, I think he might shine on this track. His sixth-place finish during testing also shows his potential to rock it out in good ‘ol Bama.

That’s it. Grab your can-koozies, rig something with duct tape, put on your best “People of Walmart” getup and let’s blow this popsicle stand. See you in Barber…

Editor’s note: In my weekly picks for Sao Paulo, I mistakenly called the Kansas Jayhawks “sons-of-bracket-busting-bitches.” I apologize, because my bracket was not busted. I actually won the pool I was in… for the second year in a row. Thassss right. Booyah.

19 responses to “Indy Grand Prix of Alabama

  • Speedy

    Fun stuff! You really are quite a good writer.

    Is it just me, or doe these white-text-on-black-background blogs make anyone else’s eyes go nutty?

    Thanks for the morning entertainment.

  • Leandro

    Between Ana Beatriz and Tomas Scheckter for the 500, of course I would choose the son of the great Jody! Ana isn’t bad, but she is not the big talent that many of my brazilian countrymen think that she is; Simona de Silvestro is much better than her. Last sunday Ana commented formula one for a brazilian radio station, and I never imagined how dumb she could be! She said no more than cliches during all the broadcasting! And when she talks to brazilian media about the male drives that she competed against in the late Brazilian Formula Renault, well, I go to read something else…

  • Bri Kupfer

    Speedy…yeah, gives me a little headache.

    I’m gonna have to disagree with your picks. I call Tag, Wheldon, Rahal, and Simona all in the top ten, with Alex pulling off the win. I also anticipate Milka crashing out in the first ten laps. That last part shouldn’t surprise anyone, including Duno.

  • Paco

    Do you racegil werk for an irl team? if so, ,,who?

  • Mike G

    Great post!! I got 1st TK. 2nd Helio 3rd Justin.

  • Mike G

    How soon does Milka get lapped?

  • Dave Cornutt

    Yeah, you’re in trouble…. we-uns gonna come lookin’ for you…

    Seriously, I hope you enjoy your stay in Alabama, and if you have time, come to Huntsville and check out the U.S. Space and Rocket Center. In fact, I’ll give you a guided tour. Here’s a bit of trivial for you: Although this is (as near as I’ve ever been able to determine) the first Indycar race ever in Alabama, it is not the first race by Indy-style cars. In 1998, the old American Indycar Series visited Birmingham International Raceway, the half-mile oval at the fairgrounds, on the opposite side of Birmingham from Barber. Greg Gorden won the race, in a car owned by Joe Truscelli, who later was an Indycar team owner for a few years. Joe himself piloted a second car and finished fourth.

  • Cdy_bradshaw

    I’m going with RHR again. Eventually I won’t look like a jackass for picking him. And I’ll take the under on Milka crashing within the first ten laps….. See you in B’ham! Tequila shots in turn 1. Hit me up!

    • the_race_gIRL

      I almost went with RHR, so feel free to rub it in if he takes the checkered. And I will definitely see you in turn one. Get my shot ready…

  • sejarzo

    I can understand the desire of D&RR to put Scheckter in the car, I only hope that doesn’t mess up Bia’s future with potential sponsors that she and her management team are trying to finalize. It does go both ways when sponsors disappear when it’s time to write the check ala SFR, but a sponsor would likely not want to go through lengthy negotiations in the future if the ride might evaporate in the end?

    • Leandro

      sejarzo, Bia’s manager is Andre Ribeiro (former Cart driver), and he did nothing more than put her in a ride to race in Brazil, and nothing more than this; so, he is not a good driver. And about sponsors, brazilian companies want to put their money in a “new Ayrton Senna”, Sadly for Bia, her performance in the Sâo Paulo 300 was far from what the brazilian sponsors expected.

  • Racing Historian

    Too funny, Monica! Something for everyone in this blog. Winning the NCAA bracket this year could be called a fluke. And yes, Scarlett, I could – and just did – call it that. As for Barber, it’ll be Power with another win for “what, me change?” Penske, followed by “Mr. Ashley” Franchitti and then – obviously – Rahal in a podium finish for SFR. Woo hoo! Oh, and try the Chick-fil-a while you’re down there for some racin’ chicken, southern style.

  • Dave Cornutt

    I’m going off the board and picking Tony Kanaan. I have no good reason for this, save the fact that he was the fastest in the initial test session a couple of years ago. But he’s way past due.

  • Leandro

    I pick Scott Dixon for this race in Alabama.

  • Kerry

    Ok, maybe your joking around, but I’m from Alabama and I agree that not many people watch Indycar in Alabama but guess what, we are not all rednecks and 80% of the State has high speed internet.

    I do not watch any racing with only left turns. I could name almost all of the Indycar drivers off the top of my head but couldn’t name but maybe two or three Nascar driver. I watch EVERY Indycar race. So Big Fan here.

    Anyway on that note I’m glad that Indycar has come to Alabama. George Barber did a great job on this track. Trust me, I know.. I have been out on that very track at high speeds.

    • the_race_gIRL

      Of course I’m joking… there is rarely any seriousness coming from this gIRL. I had a great time in Barber – didn’t get a chance to check out the museum, but you guys ordered some great weather for us and despite the parade-ish-ness of the race, it had some great moments. With a few changes, next year’s race could be even better.

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