Firestone 550K (Texas)

“After Indy we go to Milwaukee.”

Milwaukee. Not Texas. What seems to be the problem here?

I’m not bitter.

Before we start the boot scootin’ boogie, I have to tell you about the greatest spectacle in FAIL. It’s been my tradition – and it should be yours – to attend the Indy 500 and then watch the broadcast later that evening. And as of the last few years, I’ve DVR’d it. You know, because watching it forty-two times in a row is necessary. So I watch the live race. Then I watch the broadcast. Then I watch the recording. You get the picture. So we’re on phase three of this jolly adventure…

Three laps to go. Then two. Out comes the white flag. Conway hits the wall. The announcer says, “We’ve got a crash. Wow – it’s a wicked crash.” Annnnnnd… the recording stops. No replay of the crash. No post-race interviews. Nada. I sat and stared for a good two minutes, refusing to admit that THAT just happened. Then I scream in agony, in much the same way as I did when I found out the Mile wasn’t on the 2010 schedule. I’m not bitter.

Sooooo… the stars at night, are big and bright, (clap, clap, clap, clap) deep in the heart of Texas. Everything I ever needed to learn in life came from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. I already knew there was no basement in the Alamo, but I understand that Pee Wee had to learn the hard way. And that tour guide lady didn’t need to be such a bitch.

Is this the race that Randy Bernard has been looking forward to most? Has he been like, “Yea, that Indy 500 is cool but let’s hurry up and get to the mother ship?” You betcha. Well, Mr. Bernard, it’s time to make a b-double-e-double-r-u-n cuz we ain’t goin’ down ‘til the sun comes up. Okay, that’s quite enough of the country music references. I just annoyed the crap out of myself.

First pick – I’ll take Marco Andretti. I remember being fairly confident in Marco this time last season because he favors the high line, especially at this track. He finished fourth at Texas Speedway last year (which I’m almost certain was his highest finish of the 2009 season) and I think his momentum will be strong after this year’s third-place finish at Indy.

Secondly, I’ll go with Ryan Briscoe. A few reasons – I like him on the ovals, he started and finished second last year, and well, he drives for Penske, so can you really go wrong with a red team pick? It’s safe… and I know it.

Finally, I’ll take Scheckter as my dark horse. Due to the unfortunate crash involving Mike Conway and RHR at Indy, Scheckter has been asked to fill in for DRR at Texas. I don’t like the circumstances, but I’m excited about the outcome. And this may be my last chance to pick him this year (knock on carbon fiber), so let’s hope we see something spectacular. BTW, did anyone notice that going into the last 15 laps at Indy, Scheckter had yet to use any of his push-to-pass? I don’t care what Davey Hamilton says – he never ceases to amaze me.

Try and find me at Texas. I won’t be there, but it will be a fun little game. However, if our paths happen to cross in Vegas this weekend, don’t tell anyone. For what happens in Vegas… should be happening in Texas, cuz I wish I was going there. Yeehaw and God Speed. Enjoy it while it lasts, because next year after Indy, we go to Milwaukee.

3 responses to “Firestone 550K (Texas)

  • The Speedgeek

    Hey, that Alamo tour guide lady isn’t a bitch, she’s just better at talking about things you can do with corn than she is at dealing with inaccurate questions.

  • rico500

    Amen to Milwaukee, sister, where (as you know from being an expat) we actually measure our races IN miles. And I rather like the fact that the Mile is about… oh, five kilometers from my house. Hopefully the addition of NH for 2011 is a good sign for bringing MKE back.

    • the_race_gIRL

      I’m psyched about NH, but gotta say – it scares me a little that this might be a replacement for the Mile. Reeeeeeeeeeally hope that’s not the case. Mainly because I’m hoping to not have to hang myself.

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