Well, shoot. That Toronto sure was a shit show, wasn’t it? Let me let you in on a little secret: If you’re actually going to attend that race next year, the ONLY place to sit is turn three. I’d like to apologize to all of the dudes around me for the excessive gasping and pointing that went on. And I’m sorry about your knees – I’m sure that some random chick grabbing them is probably not what you needed.
I’d also like to give a big thumbs up to Tags and Scheckter, but I don’t have big thumbs. I’m impressed with your child-like attitudes and frustration levels that make Mel Gibson look like a yoga instructor. Boys, I salute you. For you are what makes the IZOD IndyCar Series fun. And I’m sure yo mommas was proud when they saw your post-race interviews all over ESPN. Which can only mean that Edmonton should be the bearer of beautiful things. Let the madness ensue.
No, I still won’t give you my thoughts on the 2012 chassis. It’s coming. It can’t happen now because everything that happens now, is happening now. What happened to then? We passed then. When? Just now. We’re at now, now. Go back to then. When? Now. Now? Now. I can’t. Why? We missed it. When? Just now.
In case you were confused just then, you should know that no blog is truly complete without a Spaceballs reference. I knew it. I’m surrounded by assholes. Okay, I’m done.
Sweet Jebediah, can we please get back to racing? I’m going to go out on a LONG limb here and call a complete Penske/Ganassi domination in Edmonton this weekend. That would be shocking, no? Ugh. Make it STOP already. I’m tired of choosing red and black so much that I feel like I’m playing Connect Four. Who won at Toronto? POWER. Who was on the pole and won at The Glen? POWER. Who was on the pole and won last year at Edmonton? POWER. Last week, I banned myself from picking him on sheer principal. This week, I say, screw the principles. I’ll take Power.
Secondly, I’ll take Justin Wilson. Did you see that performance last week? Not only was he smokin’ the rest of the field on his black tires, but after the late-race debacle that put him way back in the pack, he managed to work his way up in the last few laps of the race to finish seventh. It was a spectacle.
Finally, simply for the fun of it, and because I refuse to pick another Penske, I’ll take resident evil Paul Tracy. He’s somehow whined his way into my heart and I’d like to see him finish well for the Canadian fans. Man, do they love that guy up there. I saw grown men acting like 14-year-old girls at a Justin Bieber concert. Obnoxious? Yes. Heartwarming? Eh, sort of. But you can’t argue with hometown pride. Just ask the Iowa corn-growers. Those are some crazy sons-of… older corn-growers.
Let the Canadian frenzy continue. I miss that place already. And let me know who YOU guys think will take the podium this weekend. This is, after all, your world. I’m just visiting…