Indy 2010: The Year of the Male Capri

It’s been a month now since the final race of the 2009 season. Longest hangover I’ve ever had. Except for that time in Puerta Vallarta. Oof, that was rough.

When the season ended, I spent a good two hours neatly organizing my 2009 picks into an Excel spreadsheet to find out how well I did. The plan was to marvel in the glory of picking a podium-finisher in every race… which I swear I did. Just promise you won’t go back and look. It will be a lot better for us both if you just trust me.

While I delete the spreadsheet, let’s forget about 2009 and look forward to next season. If there’s one thing you can count on from me, it’s credible info. So this post comes with a rock-solid-race-gIRL-guarantee that the following things may or may not happen in 2010:

• Let’s get this out of the way first, since I’m sure you’re anxious about it: Vaseline Man Lotion WILL be back next year as a sponsor. Start working on your clever tweets now, so you can slide them in when the time comes. Oh, look what I’ve done there.
• There’s been a lot of speculation about when Tomas Scheckter will produce the glove-tossing trifecta. Be patient people. He’s on an every-other-year schedule, so place your bets now for 2011.
• The Chronicles of Danica will continue. However, unable to make up her own mind about going to NASCAR, Danica will pull the ultimate publicity stunt, most likely just before IndyCar makes its next big announcement. DP will hire Dario “Been There, Came Back” Franchiti and Sam “Still There, I Suck” Hornish Jr. to arm wrestle. Dario will win, Ashley will complain and Danica will stay with IndyCar. You know, until next season.
• Contrary to what you may have thought when you saw Dan Wheldon’s new twitter avatar, he has not left the series for a modeling career.
• Scott Dixon will receive sponsorship offers from three separate energy supplement corporations. They’ll review his post-race interview skills and proclaim, “Perfect, Scott! You keep putting them to sleep and we’ll keep stocking more product!”
• In an unprecedented sequence of events, Milka Duno will manage to lose five positions during driver introductions.
• Vitor Meira will be back, full-force next year. He’ll probably ride the wall again, but only as part of a victory celebration in an effort to show up Helio’s incessant fence climbing.
• McDonalds will return as the Graham-burglar’s sponsor. Sources say it’s become impossible for Graham to do a post-race interview without saying “The McDonalds boys were great out there today.”
• The team formerly known as Andretti Green Racing will follow suit with Prince and therefore only be recognizable as a symbol for at least two years. That symbol is yet to be determined. Suggestions welcome.
• Speaking of, rumors are running rampant about RHR going to the Andretti team. I speculate that this is all part of Michael Andretti’s hidden agenda to “stack the deck” with hot boys in an effort to drive female fans to their hospitality tent. There are other ways, Michael. Seriously. Penske does it with backpacks.

You’re still thinking about that Danica one, aren’t ya? It could happen.

As difficult as it is for me to be serious, I gotta shift gears for a moment and give my two cents on the new title sponsorship. We all heard the IZOD announcement last week. Okay, we heard it the week before, but it was fun pretending we didn’t know that everything was gon’bee alright.

I’m hearing that the twitterverse isn’t yet hip to the new “fastest race on earth” tag. I personally LOVED it from the moment I heard it. But let’s remember that the current IRL fans, although beyond loyal, are also some of the most critical people ever. EVER. I even caught myself over-analyzing the decrease in the banking on the new logo. Yep. Stupid. Let’s focus on the EXTREMELY positive news here, people. This sponsorship is phenomenal for the series! Six (plus) years? Unbelievable.

I have a TON of thoughts on why IZOD is a good sponsor, but the best way to describe this new direction is a quote from a friend of mine who works closely with one of the teams. He once said to me, “I’ve been to some driver meetings and I have never seen so many pairs of male capris in my life.”

Don’t blink, IndyCar fans. The future is brighter, the cars are safer and the drivers are metrosexual-er. Gone are the days of big, burly men who smoked, drank and fixed their own cars. The series is going in a new (and positive) direction. Enter the Age of the Male Capri. Available now wherever IZOD is sold.

Be Proud. Be Loyal. Be Indy.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned this year, it’s that IRL fans, perhaps more than in any other motorsport, are extremely loyal. This applies to favorite drivers, teams, tracks and… even sponsors.

Yes, we have been known to make sarcastic comments about the IZOD commercial playing so many times during broadcasts, however I dare you to find a die-hard fan who doesn’t know that “Everything’s gonna be alright.”

This loyal spirit has spawned a new idea from a few of my fellow die-hards, and I love it. The fans are organizing their own movement to show the sponsors who they want to see get a full-time ride and why. So IRL fans, this is your chance! Do your part to get more cars on the grid in 2010.

This particular campaign is aimed at getting Monster Energy to sponsor Canadian favorite Paul Tracy for 2010. If it works, hopefully the trend will continue with other sponsors and drivers. Show your sponsor loyalty for PT! Click on the following link and post your shoutout: http://www.monsterenergy.com/web/athletes-paul-tracy

Here’s hoping you’re enjoying the off-season. I’ve finally been able to stop crying myself to sleep. Less than 20 weeks to Brazil. Fight on.

Get “Up Close & Personal” for a good cause

NEW! The race gIRL offer:  When placing your order, put “the race gIRL” in the Special Instructions box and you’ll get an autographed headshot with your calendar!

Just got this info and I feel privileged to be able to share it with my fellow race fans… take a minute to find out how you can get this rockin’ calendar (or give it as a gift) and support a great cause at the same time.

Much Love, the race gIRL

The Sam Schmidt Paralysis Foundation is now offering the 2010 Indy Racing League® “Up Close & Personal” calendar. The sixteen-month, 12″x12″ photographic wall calendar showcases a closer look at the lives of your favorite drivers – racetrack moments, hobbies, favorite pastimes, and more. This year’s calendar includes:

•    Scott Dixon
•    Helio Castroneves
•    Dario Franchitti
•    Dan Wheldon
•    Tony Kanaan
•    Marco Andretti
•    Ana Beatriz
•    Ed Carpenter
•    Mike Conway
•    Milka Duno
•    Sarah Fisher
•    Ryan Hunter-Reay
•    Alex Lloyd
•    Graham Rahal

The calendar is available online at http://www.samschmidt.org/indyracingcalendar2010/ for only $13.99. Proceeds from the sale of the calendars will benefit the Sam Schmidt Paralysis Foundation. Bulk quantities at discounted prices are available for gift giving.  For information, please direct inquiries via email to:  admin@umponline.com.

Special thanks to United Medical Providers (UMP, Inc,) and JMKC Express, long-time sponsors of the Sam Schmidt Paralysis Foundation.

About The Sam Schmidt Paralysis Foundation
The Sam Schmidt Paralysis Foundation (SSPF) was started in 2000 by Indy Racing League driver Sam Schmidt shortly after a practice-run crash left him paralyzed from the chest down.  SSPF is leading the charge to cure paralysis by funding scientific research, medical treatment, rehabilitation and technological advances, benefiting stroke victims and people diagnosed with ALS, Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s diseases.  In addition to initiating local and national advocacy efforts on behalf of those disabled, SSPF funds various quality of life grants to organizations, provides college scholarships for people with spinal cord injuries/paralysis, and funds the national Day at the Races program.  Ida Cahill, President, is a member of the Spinal Cord Leaders Council.
Sam Schmidt was recently recognized by the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation with the 2008 Visionary Leader Award, because of his dedication and commitment to funding research and bettering the lives of those who are paralyzed.  For more information, visit www.samschmidt.org.

Firestone Indy 300 (Homestead)

Pack your suntan lotion, race fans, and put an umbrella in your fruity drink. We’re headed to sun-drenched Miami this weekend for the final race of the 2009 IRL season. I’ve been putting off this week’s picks too long, mostly because it pains me to see it come to an end. Maybe it’s the thought of 2010 without the Milwaukee Mile. Maybe it’s the inability to fathom a six-month eternity before the next flag drops. Or maybe it’s just severe denial that Milka hasn’t been banned from the league yet. Whatever it is, raise your hand if you’ll join the race gIRL on the verge of an open-wheel-induced depression.

It doesn’t matter whether you think BFD stands for Briscoe, Franchiti, Dixon or Big F-ing Deal, it’s hard to deny that this has been one hell of a season. From Helio’s tax evasion scandal to Vitor Meira’s season-ending wall drive at Indy. From TK’s flaming cockpit escape to Carpenter’s stunning head-to-head battle with Briscoe at Kentucky. From the new overtake assistance and downforce options to Danica’s will-she-or-won’t-she Nascar tease. I’d like to say we’ve seen it all this season, but here’s to 2010 being even more exciting. Book your tickets now, my friends, because at the rate we’re going, the only network willing to air the races might be Lifetime. But hey, maybe your wife would watch it with you, right?

I digress. Where’s my Mai Tai? On to the final picks of the season…

I’m going with Briscoe. He doesn’t have a strong history at Miami, but his eyes told it all in Japan. As he sat in the pits waiting for his crew to fix the car following the cone-toting wall debacle, you know how bad he wants it.

My second pick is Castroneves. Since 2002, he’s been in top five every year except 2007.  Since he’s not a contender, this could be his way of going out with a bang following his Indy three-peat.

My final pick is Scheckter. He was the pole-sitter in 2005, he’s got a decent record at Miami, he knows the track. And after some disappointing mechanical issues at Kentucky and Japan, I feel like this might be his chance to prove that he deserves a full-time ride in 2010.

At this point, I find it impossible to care about anything beyond this Saturday evening. Words can’t express how excited I am to be in the pits at Homestead. Possibly even more thrilling is the thought of meeting a bunch of my fellow race fans at the Tweetup… or the bars… whatever. The point is it’s a gathering of the masses to celebrate the excitement that is Indy. I’m thankful for everyone I’ve met this season who shares my passion and I look forward to many more years of screaming “Did you see that?!” with all of you.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a plane to catch. You might see me on the beach this weekend, or in the pits, or desperately chasing down the league’s finest in my quest to show them why they should hire me. Wherever I am, you can be sure of one thing: I’m in Miami, bitch. And this weekend, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.

Indy Japan 300

OMG… Danica Patrick is back at Twin Ring Motegi! Have you seen her? Did you know she won here last year?  You think she can do it again?!

Not so much. Yes, I was excited for DP to get her first IndyCar victory in Japan last year. I even teared up a little when I saw the mommy hug complete with ‘the-monkey’s-off-my-back-and-the-trophy’s-bigger-than-me’ bewilderment. But I’m pretty sure that if Danica was going to earn a 2009 victory, she’d have done it already.  And no, I’m not boycotting her because of the impending transition to the dark side (aka Nascar). I like her. She’s talented. But will this be her weekend? Survey says… no.

So here we go! Twin Ring Motegi… the facility is actually built into the side of a mountain, which is useless information that I think is pretty darn cool. The ICS Technical Director, Kevin Blanch, says this is the most difficult 1.5-mile oval on the ’09 schedule because of the way it handles, forcing teams to try a variety of downforce levels. In addition, last year’s race took place in spring, so it should be interesting to see how the weather plays in to the choices in downforce options. But rest assured… Marco Andretti’s setup will continue to be the complete opposite of every other car on the grid.

I’m calling my first pick “the hypocrite pick” because I have spent most of this season complaining about the driving skills of one Mario Moraes. Yes, I’ll admit that I have tagged him as “The Pinball” and made comments like “If there’s a seven-car pileup, I can guarantee MM is involved.” But there is no better way to make the race gIRL eat her words than to perform like this guy has for the past few races. So the “180-Degree Award” goes to Mario for his fourth place finish in Sonoma followed by third place in Chicago. If he keeps this up, one can only assume he’ll finish second in Motegi and first at Homestead. Place your bets now, people.

My second pick is Tokyo-native Hideki Mutoh. I’ve picked the hometown hero in the past without much success. But since Hideki has turned his back on his home country by searching for an American girlfriend, he’s going to have to make it up to them, and this might just be the way. Or… it will simply be that AGR knows the track enough to continue the winning streak. Yea, let’s go with that.

Finally, my safe pick of the week is Ryan Briscoe. I believe that’s all I need to say. If you wonder why I’m picking Briscoe, clearly you’ve missed a few races this year. We’ll all sit and wait while you go watch them. Actually, I’m going to grab some sushi. 安全に置かれる幸運の運転者よいショーおよびリターン家。 私はIndyである。

Editors note: I always make my picks before qualifying – I just didn’t publish this one in time. If you need proof of my honesty, see Exhibit A: Hideki Mutoh pick, in conjunction with Exhibit B: the current state of Hideki’s car… and foot.

In Case You’re Confused: She’s a Driver, Not a Savior

I can’t hold it in any longer. I’m so tired of hearing about the “doomed future of the IRL” as a result of Danica’s departure. Note that this is just the race gIRL’s opinion, but let’s take a deep breath and gather some perspective, all you Crabby Appletons.

Did the IRL exist before Danica came along? Yes, I think it did. Are there currently fans of the Series who are not DP fans? Yes, I think there are. Will those fantastic, elite machines continue to run the circuits even after she leaves? Yes, I think they will.

I’m not a Danica-hater. I think she’s got talent, but WAY beyond that, I think she’s got marketing savvy. She has built a brand, which will exist and flourish no matter what type of car she’s in. So we’re clear, it is NOT her skill, her determination, or even her track record that has made her the face of the IRL. It is her story, her fiery personality and yes, even her cute little body that has landed her smack in the middle of the media frenzy. This Danica Mania has, of course, done good things for the promotion of the IndyCar Series, but the lack of this one woman will not be the end of this great sport.

It has been suggested that we could throw in other females to replace her. I say this with the utmost amount of respect, but I guaran-damn-tee that no Milka, Ana, Pippa or Sarah will ever reach the height of popularity as Danica (Miss Patrick if you’re nasty). It is her MARKETABILITY that makes her a star… and none of these other ladies has proven to compare. Could someone else come along and trump her? Absolutely. But let’s focus on what we can do now, instead of whining and waiting.

Moving forward, it’s going to be all about marketing the Series correctly. There’s an entire grid of drivers out there with “untapped” personalities. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, if the field was filled with Tony Kanaans, fan interaction would be through the roof, and the “soap opera” appeal similar to the likes of NASCAR and WWE would certainly be attracting fans. We like drivers when we feel like we know them… when we feel a connection. Helio is a prime example because of DWTS, and TK should get a twitter trophy for his fan interaction.

I’d love to see other drivers step up to the plate and give a little love for the benefit of the IRL’s future. Even fun contests like the “Find Hideki an American Girlfriend” adventure are great for developing that connection. Naturally, I’ve got a ton of ideas for marketing the Series – I’m sure you do too – but that’s for another day.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to focusing on the last races of the season. Because I, for one, won’t let Danica’s race for market share get in the way of the REAL race.

Peak Antifreeze & Motor Oil Indy 300

Ummm, can we get a different name for this race, please?

This weekly picks update is cuttin’ it a little close to race time, but I’ve been so busy doing my thank-God-we’re-finally-back-to-ovals happy dance that I almost forgot to post. Three more races to go – all on ovals – excitement meter is on max. Downforce adjustments and overtake assistance are in full force. Should be one hell of a race at the Chicagoland Speedway.

This won’t come as a shock to anyone, but I like Ed Carpenter as my first pick. I’d like to see the #20 car qualify P1 with Briscoe at P2 so we can continue where we left off at Kentucky. I should be so lucky.

Second, I’ll take Dan Wheldon. Of all the cars on the grid, Wheldon has lead the most laps at this track, and one would hope he’s still out to prove that ’09 won’t be a total bust. I heard a rumor this week that he’s headed to F1 for next year. Say it ain’t so, Dan. I don’t care if you stay at Panther or head to AGR. Hey, even if you make Sarah Fisher a two-car squad, just don’t forsake us.

Finally, I’m going with a dark horse pick of Tomas Scheckter. He’s been training like a maniac and he’s back in the series for the last three races on the schedule. The 2009 season hasn’t been spectacular for T-Scheck but I’d love to see him leave it all on the track in Joliet… and Tokyo… and Miami.

History shows that Chicagoland has been home to some barn-burners. And with this week’s as-vague-as-possible confirmation about the replacement of The Mile, the Chicagoland Speedway will have to be my new “home track.” Feel free to send sympathy cards. I’m coping. Don’t let me down, Chi-town.

Indy Grand Prix of Sonoma

Ahhhh, Sonoma. Let me put down my honorary glass of wine and try to focus.

Maybe it’s the merlot, but I’m feeling a lack of thrill going into this one. My tweeps and friends all seem to be sharing the same emotion, and I even heard this race referred to as “Infini-Yawn.” For a die-hard, it’s tough to watch the points race bounce back and fourth between the same, win-every-time drivers. And although I’m frustrated that next year’s schedule has gone to more road courses and less ovals, I’m hoping it will showcase the variety of talent and lead to an exhilarating finish in 2010. Oops, I’m babbling. Where’s my wine?

As a result of the aforementioned babble, I will be making my picks this week without including any of the big four. You’re welcome.

My first pick is Justin Wilson. I like him on the road courses and although he only has one victory under his belt, that’s more than I can say for much of the rest of the field. Justin’s been a top contender nearly every time the course turns right.

While the wine’s still flowing, let me have my day in the sun with this next pick. I’ve wanted an AGR win so bad this season! And this week I have an extra chance (albeit not a great one) of that happening with the addition of Franck Montagny. So my second pick is the entire AGR team. Can you do that, race gIRL? Yes, I can. And here’s why: The Torch is a contender every time he gets in his car, DP is the only team member in the points’ top five, Hideki has been fairly solid as of late, Marco is… well, let’s just say he wants it (I think), and Montagny has a proven record in the world of motorsports, which just may translate to an Indy podium.

By the way, I also really want to see Mike Conway take the Rookie of the Year award. Yep, I said it. Go Conweezy.

So let’s all raise our wine glasses… cheers to a safe race and the thought of being back on an oval next week at Chicagoland. Get there faster, please.

Honda Indy 200 at Mid-Ohio

Editor’s note to IndyCar drivers: I triple-dog-dare you to put on a show at Mid-Ohio like you did at Kentucky. I realize this will be difficult with Milka Duno on the track, but you like a challenge, don’t you?

Speaking of a challenge, the weather seems to be the unpredictable factor for this weekend. It will be interesting to see how the rain and heat affect both the slickness of the track and the choice of tires. I’m excited to see the continuation of the “overtake assistance” button, as well as the various optional downforce adjustments. We shall see…

My first pick is Castroneves. I like Helio for this race because he’s been the pole-sitter for the past two years, and on a track where there’s not a lot of opportunities to pass, it’s critical to be at the front. Castroneves is itching for a win, and even if he doesn’t get it, he’ll be so happy in his post-race interview that you’ll believe that he did.

I like Justin Wilson for a podium finish this week as well. Wilson proved his road-course skills at The Glen this season, and has continued to race strong since. His practice times have shown him to be a contender and I think he’s got a good shot at giving Dale Coyne his “second-best moment of the past 25 years.”

Finally, because of the home-court advantage, I like Graham Rahal. This course is in the Graham-burglar’s backyard (so close, in fact, that Graham’s family hosted a team cookout at their home this week. Awww, Rahals, how yuppie of you). But in addition to Graham’s backyard barbeque skills, he’s been turning in some good finishes so far this season, and I think Mid-Ohio might just be his first ’09 victory.

No matter what, I want you to remember that this is the course where Milka launched her gloves at Danica last year. And even though Tomas Scheckter is not racing at Mid-Ohio this weekend, he will be attending to cheer on his friends and teammates. So riddle me this, Batman: What are the odds that when Milka throws in the towel after being 15 laps down, she and T-Scheck could have their own glove-throwing competition in the paddock? Discuss.

Give ‘em an inch… or they’ll take The Mile

For months now, we’ve been hearing speculation that the 2010 IRL schedule might not include a race at The Milwaukee Mile. Naturally, I refused to believe it.  I figured I could change the subject, cover my ears and scream like a child, or handcuff myself to the fence at the State Fair grounds. None of which would work, but at least I could take my mind off the thought of this historic venue being dismissed.

The Milwaukee Mile is the oldest, continually-operated speedway in the country. Since 1903, anybody who’s anybody has been on the infamous track’s roster at one time or another.

During the pre-race coverage at Kentucky, several drivers mentioned their disappointment in hearing that Milwaukee would not be on next year’s schedule. And judging by the unbelievable show they put on Saturday night, it almost seemed that the drivers were sending a message to the league: See this? This is what we do on the ovals. Give us more, por favor.

Almost as if on cue, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel published an article this morning stating that despite what we heard from Kentucky, there’s still hope. According to the article, an unidentified promotions group has been selected to work towards an agreeable solution. The group’s point person, Steve Jones, had this to say: “We’re still talking for this coming year… it’s certainly not a dead issue.” See the complete article here: http://www.jsonline.com/sports/autoracing/52273177.html

For the sake of the drivers, the fans and the league, I can only hope that The Mile gets reinstated for 2010. Because “After Indy we go to Texas” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.